01.

hello, im miss anonymous.
well, this feels weird. how should i start this? im alya zamri and im 1/3 human, 1/3 panda, 1/3 whale. save the almost extinct animals, rawr. ok ignore that. most people call me alya c, c stands for chan but just plain alya is just fine. not so anonymous now i guess? currently im taking civil engineering in Uniten Bangi. briefly saying, i am pretty much random and unpredictable, i have cicakophobia. i like cats, artsy fartsy stuff, good books, food, fine music and robert downey jr as well as johny depp.

fear and phobias.
fear me for i am a dinesor kenit and so am i the king of donuts. bow down to your king people. haha ok not funny. my biggest fear would be losing my loved ones whoever they are. family members, friends, cats. they are the one im closed to. the thought of not having them around, not getting to see them like forever and after is just unbearable. i try not to think of it much everyday.

next in line would be getting tailed and chase about. yes i fear that. what do you call that kind of phobia? i dont know myself. when i was little i used to get dreams, dreams of being chased by bad guys/ghosts/toys who wanted to kidnap/kill me. funny much huh but that's pretty petrifying for a 7 year old okay. even now im in my teens once in a while i still get those kind of dream, it wakes me up at midnights nervous much. such dream has actually affected my life now. i get pretty nervous knowing that something or someone is chasing me. even my cat makes me nervous. he's very manja but he likes playing chase with me. chasing me like a tiger, just about to pounce on it's prey. it is scary but to look at it from a different view, my fear actually helps me exercise a bit. hehe.


happy pills.
my cats and family. why did i combine those two together? it's because i consider all 8 cats of mine as family. my parents, my siblings, my cats. regardless of how sometimes they can be quite annoyingly yet still i found them to be charmingly adorable and fun to be around. i adore them.

money. well they say money makes the world go round. hehe.

boyfriends and girlfriends. they make my day everyday. we joke we fight we reconsile we love each other. this goes to my best chums, idzaati marlan, amalia zabidi, zulfadhli jamil and arif wajidi.

ice cream. well what's not to love about ice cream? i always say yes to ice cream except for when i am very full.

greggory house from the series house. believe it or not i find him very interesting. his sarcasm delivered in a humorous way, that always made me laugh.

babies and kiddies. say yes to them. they are certainly adorable when they arent crying. looking at them playing around, giggling to theirselves certainly would put a smile on my face. they really do know how to have fun.


youth & the future.
i am not sure what's the best thing about being youth today. maybe because back then, there's no baskin robin. the only way you can actually enjoy good ice cream is by making one. now there is like hundreds of baskin robbin outlet all over malaysia. well, that's convenient for an ice-creamholic like me if there is such a term.

ok im kidding. back then, our parents, grandparents, ancestors they had two jobs. one is to fight for freedom and at the same time work to earn money for a living, to provide the youngs with the necessities needed. the result is what we see, we gain today. today, we dont have to actually fight a war against japan or british or something. the old folks, they had laid the path for us, make things a lot more easier for us. that, to me would be the best thing about being youth today.

in regards of our future, looking at how things are right now the only thing i can say about it is that the future looks bleak. two things that worries me a lot would be the environmental issues and the lack of morality in youth nowadays.

do you notice how unpredictable the weather is now? how a day could be so hot you just wish you could bury your face in an ice tub and suddenly without notice it would rain like cats and dogs. that is not good! cewah, macam konon garang. but really people, this is serious. global warming is attacking earth, people. ice in the antartics are melting down at an incredibly shocking rate, sea level is increasing rapidly. watch more of national geography and discovery chanel and you would know. if things continue to be as they are now there will be a huge flood which will surely drown us all. dont laugh this isnt a joke this is true.

Malaysia as we know it isnt so big. even a small tsunami that hit us in 2006 has affected much of our lives, what would something this big would do to earth? we must do something to prevent this. avoid using airconds even when it gets so hot, the fan would do much good and open the windows for a better air ventilation. switch off the electric appliances when not using it. the little things you do makes a difference.

if you are alert of what's been happening around us, what's written in our newspapers today, of some which had made headline, we can actually see how our youth today has lost most of their moral values. babies abandoned, thrown away into dumpsite, as if they arent living things. youngsters involved in drugs, robbery, illegal racing, cutting school and such, these things are clouding their future. with the ever growing rate of morality lack actions how do you think Malaysia would look like in another 5 or 10 years? can you imagine these kind of people as leaders of our country?

well, everything is for you to decide. so make the right choice, think of a brighter future for our generation.


everyone's a rebel at heart.
teenagers will always be teenagers. simply said, know it or not everyone's a rebel at heart. youth of my group age is especially the wild souls yet to be tamed. cewah. hehe. it would be a big fat lie to say im not a rebel myself. in my case im against my parents. i am afraid of my dad, so pretty much the rebelling are done against my mum. sorry about that mak, but you'll find me doing that again and again.

if we are talking based on experience, i've a lot to tell. my parents arent the lenient kind who give much freedom to all of their kids. they have boundaries to whatever there is to put boundaries. im always jealous of other people, to be exact my friends. they are always found doing things like trip to pangkor lah, hangout at dome klcc lah, going to art exhibiton at pasar seni lah, moshing at gigs lah. they had the freedom that i dont have.

i always get caught fighting over this matter with my mum. everytime i asked for mak's permission to go places with a bunch of friends, she'll say things like "bukan haritu dah keluar?" when in fact, the time she's refering is a month before. that always gets me so angry and sometimes i'd lie to her, going places without my parents knowing it. i regret that, i sure do.

as i grow up, i've learnt more things about what my parents are trying to do. parents they put limits to things we do because basically, they love us. precaution is better than cure? in this case, to take precaution is better than hearing bad news. to hear that you are safe at home is better than to know that you were shot because you got mugged by some bad ass. it's much better to not learn things the hard way dont you think.


life today as i see it
definitely much easier in comparison to my parents period of time. as i've mentioned before, we had our paths laid in front of us, the only thing we had to do is make a choice. to study hard, get a good job live well or drop out of school, unemployed and live miserably. take your pick.

our past generations, they had it hard for them. they dont have the commodity as like what we do. they had to walk bare-footed to school just to make sure that their shoes are clean as they get to school. they had to work under the sun, helping their parents in paddy fields and estates as to obtain money to pay the bills, school fees and such. not forgetting during the old times, people dont have the technology, the smart electronics to help do their daily chores.

the youth today doesnt need to do such things anymore. the road are tar roads, we can walk to school without having to worry about having leeches sucking blood like vampires on your legs, mud on your school uniforms. if walking is tiring, you can actually go to school by bus or train or car. so what's your reason to cut classes? parents work hard as so to provide all the basic necessities, to make living much better. so how is that not easy for us as their children? and then we have all the electronics stuff and fancy technology that surely improve our lives in all aspects there is. vacuum cleaner substitutes broom and dustpan, airconditioner in exchange with fans, cellphones as an alternate to phone, letters and telegram. these are only a few examples that i can think of for the moment. so now if you may, tell me how is our life harder than the past generations again?


like a wheel, there are ups and downs.
in life there are always good days and bad days. my biggest downfall would be when i was in high school. to be exact would be when i was in form 4 and form 5.

back in school, being a PTS student, i jumped a grade that was something to be proud of, getting good scores for UPSR and PMR that felt good too. at 16 i already sat for my SPM. but i made a bad choice, taking things for granted, being all comfortable in my comfort zone. i played a lot throughout the whole two years, i sleep in classes, i was easily influenced into rebelling against my teachers, i do bad things to people. well i guess it's karma. what goes around goes around.

all the things i did affected my spm result. as i read my result slip, i was shocked. it was the worst ever. i felt embarassed of myself, to my family, my friends and the teachers. with that kind of result, there isnt much choice to pick for my future. i regret everything i did, i wish i could turn back time and amend all the wrong doing but that isnt possible. that really is a lesson to be learnt. i deserve it. my downfall actually teaches me not to take things for granted.


family or friends?

life is like christmas. family is like a christmas tree. family is the basic thing we should need to celebrate christmas. my family is my first priority, they are the ones closed to me, the ones i grow up with. without my parents i wouldnt have existed, without my siblings i am pretty much nothing.

friends are second in the list. being second doesnt make them less important. they are like the decorative items we put on the christmas tree. they are the ornaments, the shiny ribbons, the colourful lights. a christmas tree without all this sort of thing would be just a plain christmas tree. and so is life. life without friends would be dull. they are the ones spicing things up, making life more colourful more adventureous more interesting.

family and friends, we need both of them. it would be hard making a choice, good thing i never had encounter anything that needs picking either one.