Thursday, May 20, 2010

My not so success story

It was the day of my examination for Malaysian Studies. Well, the subject is actually called Pengajian Am, but this is my sad attempt to make it sound classy. I woke up cranky for staying up way too late the night before, not to study, but to catch the finale of So You Think You Can Dance -wasn’t a very smart thing to do.

So anyway, I sat down in the exam hall. The exam invigilator passed out the paper, I opened it, and my jaw practically dropped to the ground. No exaggeration!

I knew the answers to nothing. nada. zilch. zip. NOTHING!

You see, I taught I’d be smart and forecast what was coming up in the exams (DON'T EVER DO THAT!) So, I only studied what I thought was going to be asked. Well, from here it can be said that I bloody suck in forecasting.

As I embraced my nothing-ness, I thought I'd st
art from the last section which has the essay questions.

"Okay, so there are 4 questions to choose from" *scans through all of them* "Oh thank God! At least there’s one I know how to answer", I thought to myself.

I start writing, adding all UNNECESSARY points to proof to my lecturer that I DID in fact, STUDY! (Though I admit to doing lousy job at it) I procrastinate while writing hoping to stretch time so I
wouldn't need to face the 10 pages in the front (that I didn't know how to answer.)

Then my eye catches something. I re-read the questi

"SHIT I'm suppose to answer ALL the 4 questions. Not choose one!”
“Oh god, I'm screwed.”

I said a prayer in my mind.
“God, if you’re really coming down for the 2nd time, COME NOW!!”

I look around to see if my fellow classmates are as screwed as me. We exchange glances of utter confusion.

(Okay, we don’t look this bad lah)

Out of a sudden, they start exchanging answers. EVERYONE around me is copying. You can hear ‘Eh, nombor 15?" and someone whispers the answer. The exam hall is filled with murmurs of the students. The exam invigilator seems to be too caught up with whatever is on the newspaper.

Then a friend whispers to me. "Sabrina!" He gives his paper a slight push to the end of the table.

I can see it! ALL of it! ; A paper full of answers. It is just what I need to pass. Then I’ll never have to sit through Mr. Thiaga’s boring lectures and listen to him babble again

“To copy or not to copy." I reason with myself.

“I hate this class, the lecturer doesn’t like me anyway, if I copy and pass, I’ll be doing both of us a favor! He wouldn’t need to face me for another semester and I wouldn’t need to take this boring subject!” I tell myself.

But then another part starts pondering. The whole “what's the right thing to do?” part.

This gave me some time to think through my life. For the past years, I've been trying very hard to 'grow up' I think everyone my age would understand. We've just finished high school, we're in the midst of college, and soon we'll be working adults, leaving on our own, all away from home and totally out of our comfort zone.

We HAVE to grow up! No doubts about it.

One thing I have grown to learn is to have certain principles in life. One of mine is to get only what you deserve. As in to not take acknowledgment for something that is not yours. So whatever reward you get is wholly because YOU did it. You deserved it.

In the end, I obviously chose to do the paper on my own (though, VERY reluctantly)

So this is me, I’m not the brightest girl in the block (my forecasting = failure), neither am I the best student, but one thing that I’m sure of is that I stand strong for the principles I hold.
And this is my success story (or rather the lack of it) because in my opinion, standing strong for the principles you have is the greatest success anyone can have.

Thanks for reading
With Love,


Epilogue: I got a C. It’s a ngam ngam pass. The guy that showed me his paper got an A -the only A in the class of 56 people. Half of the class failed.

Thank you Lord

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